Thursday, June 23, 2011

Getting older and growing up

My birthday is this weekend, Saturday to be specific.

& I am having a REALLY HARD TIME with this birthday. I've never been one to care about getting older, after all it is just a number it shouldn't define who I am. But for some reason this year it's really messing with my head.

I'll be 28.

Yes, 28. I know, I know, why in the world is 28 bothering me so much?! It's not a typical birthday you hear about bothering people. I think I have pinpointed it down to that 28 is precariously close to 30. Whether I knew it or not I seem to have had all these ideas in my head about things I would do before I was 30, I'm not even sure I could tell you what all those things are, but they are there floating around in my mind taunting me with a "you only have TWO years" chant. How ridiculous is that?

I blame Sadie for a lot of this (& not in a bad way!), she's kind of forced me to grow up and define myself as an adult. I mean I have a kid, for most people that would mean I am an adult, right? You would also think getting married, buying a house, being financially responsible would make be feel like an adult, yeah, not so much. It took having a kid, having this little person rely entirely on me (ok, maybe Robert too) to keep her alive, happy and healthy.

I suppose that is a lot of what has me freaked out too, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am an adult and not in that weird out of college/semi-grown-up limbo I felt like I was in for so long. I've been out of college for 6 years, pretty sure it was time to move past that. Working at the same company since my last year of college doesn't help with that.

I have started moving toward that right direction of growing up. It started with my closet, I brutally edited my wardrobe. I donated all the skimpy tank tops I used to wear out (mind you some I had not worn in at least 2 years) and almost everything that was ratty, torn, did not fit got tossed too. I then proceeded to go to "grown-up" stores and replenish my wardrobe with items other than t-shirts. I still need to address the whole pants situation, as I still wear jeans every day, but I am currently fighting with my pant size (common! I weigh less than before I got pregnant, whhhhyyyy did I go up a pant size!?!)

It's funny, I remember when I was younger I thought I would wait until I was at least 30 to start having babies (if I even had any!). My mom was 30 when she had me, so to me that always seemed like the age to have a baby. Now I can't help but think how nice it would be to pregnant with baby #2 by the time I am 30 (GASP!)!

In the end I know I will get over this funk and I will tackle those mysterious tasks my head has for me before I am 30, only I will have a baby, a husband and a few dogs in tow.

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