Belated One Year Post for Sadiekins

Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, what are you going to do with me for a momma? Here it is, almost a month and a half past your 1st birthday and I am just now writing a letter? Lets hope I am not this late on everything in your life!

There really are no words to describe how beautiful, hard and life-changing this past year has been. It truly has been a roller-coster of a ride!

I find it quite funny how the mind works. I KNOW there were nights I had to get up three, four, even five times with you and all I wanted was sleep. I know there was a night the first week you were home that you would. not. stop. crying. and your dad and I were sitting on the floor with you in your vibrating chair hoping that would calm you down (of course it didn't). I know I was crying right along with you because I had no idea what to do, I felt like we had tried everything. You're poor dad, I think he saw the next few years of his life flashing by and it was full of women crying. Many weeks later we put two and two together and realized you must of been hungry and I just wasn't cutting it for you. Back to the point, I KNOW these tough times happened, but for the life of me I can not remember them. I don't remember the sheer exhaustion that comes with the first few weeks of a baby. I don't remember the frustration of wishing you came with an owners manual. I don't remember your dad and I getting snippy with each other from lack of sleep while trying to figure out how to bathe you.

Oh, but what I do remember, Sadie, are memories I will carry with me, and treasure, forever. I'll remember those sweet quite moments during the middle of the night feedings when it was just you and me (and Wade guarding your door) and whispering my hopes a dreams for you. I'll remember Saturday morning snuggles with you in between your daddy and me. I'll remember you looking up at me with a "look what I can do!" look anytime you figured a toy out. I'll remember how little and tiny you looked every night in your crib and how we had to zoom in on you with the monitor. And how now you don't even fit all the way on the monitor screen zoomed all the way out!

I am so excited to see what memories you create for me over this next year.