Back to Work

Today marks my first full day back at work. In fact I am writing this during my lunch time! I have been working half-days for the past two weeks, just to kind of ease myself back into work and ease myself into daycare. I say myself because who am I kidding, Sadie is a pretty adaptable baby, as long as she is getting fed at regular intervals I'm pretty sure she could care less where it is coming from or who is feeding her.

Here is where you are going to think I am a terrible mother... I couldn't wait to get back to work and stick my kid in daycare. Now that you are done frowning on me let me explain more. I figured out early on that I was not cut out for the sahm role. While I loved being able to stay home and have that bonding time with Sadie I really think six weeks was about my limit. You see, my brain, it was turning to mush. I missed having adult interaction with people other than Robert. I missed working on work projects, even those projects I used to complain about, projects that I am sure I will still complain about it. But for all my complaining about projects, clients, boss etc I still really like my job!

I am also a huge believer in daycare. I think it is great for kids. I think it does great things for them socially and mentally. Yes, I know that Sadie is just a baby and she is not very interactive at the moment but when she does get to that stage, I think it will be great for her to be around a group of kids her age. I think it will help her be more outgoing and confident than if she was staying home with me. I also think that daycare, or being exposed to so many other kids, is great for a little one's immune system. I mean think of everything they are being exposed to now that they are building up an immunity to vs having to build immunity to once they start kindergarten!  I am sure that there are tons of people out there who disagree with me, but that's what I believe.

Now, I am not saying that having such a little one in daycare doesn't have it's sucky points, because it does. Sadie loves her vibrating seat and swing at home, I am pretty sure she could hang out in both for hours if I let her. The week before we took her to daycare I freaked out to Robert about how she loves those and what if she doesn't get to sit in a vibrating seat at daycare and how that's not fair and can I bring a seat just for her to use all the time and no one else! Needless to say I was a little nutty and Robert laughed at me. I was also worried about how it would be if the ladies were occupied with other babies and Sadie started crying and they couldn't get to her right away. But then I thought about it and when Sadie cries at home neither Robert or I immediately run over to her to make her stop. We will look and make sure she is not hurt or anything like that and then give her a few minutes to quickly finish what we are doing, heat up her bottle, let her try and soothe herself before we pick her up. That whole time we are talking to her to let her know that we are there and she is not alone. If she is still crying after a few minutes, and I'm talking 1-2 minutes here people, not 15, we will go pick her up and soothe her. So, I don't see how what we do at home will be any different than what she gets at daycare. Another thing that will be sucky about daycare is how little time Robert and I will have with her during the week. While I was home Sadie would sleep until about 8:30/9am and then we would put her to bed between 7:30 and 8pm. The past week and a half while she has been in daycare I have been getting her up around 6:30am and she has been going to bed between 6:30 and 7pm. Now that I am back at work I wont be picking her up until about 5:15pm and we wont get home until close to 6pm. So, that means we will get around 30 minutes to an hour with her. That's not a lot of time and it sucks. But you know what, I will cherish everyone of those minutes I have at night. I will give her extra cuddles and kisses, I will look forward to our 2am feeding just because I get to spend 30 more minutes with her. And I know as she gets older and needs to sleep less we will be able to extend that bedtime. For as sucky as all that is, the benefits of daycare far outweigh them, at least for me.

Another HUGE factor in Sadie going to daycare is a money one. Other than the fact I did not want to, it just did not make sense financially for me to quit working. Daycare is only a fraction of my monthly paycheck. The fact that I am able to still contribute to our household income is a big one for me. We would of had to cut back on a lot of things if I had decided to stay home. I know a lot of people can not say that, and I do feel blessed that I can.

Perhaps the biggest reason I am glad to be back at work is that my feelings of jealousy towards Robert will go away. Yes, that is right, I was jealous of my husband working. Actually, I wasn't really jealous of him having to work but I was jealous that he had "me-time". As any new mom will probably tell you it's darn near impossible to get any alone time, especially a breastfeeding mom. In my head I was viewing Robert going to work as a break from, changing diapers, feeding, entertaining a little person that doesn't give you much feedback as to whether they like what you are doing or not. By the end of the day I was so ready for Robert to be home, and if he ever decided to go run an errand after work, it took all I had not to flip out. I know he did not view working as a break from Sadie, I know he viewed it as being away from his family. I also know he felt like as soon as he got home I would just pass baby duty over to him. Which I am not denying I did, I tried not to because I knew he had worked all day and he needed to come home and relax just as much as I needed a break from baby duty. But now we will be back to an even playing field, we will both be coming home from work tired but we will both be on baby duty, together.

I have a feeling I was all over the place with this post, but I have no time to go back and edit it as I need to get back to work! I just wanted to take a few minutes and express my thoughts and views on daycare and why I was happy to be going back to work.