This Texas Baby: The Extended Edition

I had my 40 week doctors appointment yesterday and had to ask some questions and make some decisions I never thought I would have to make. After measuring me and finding that I had not grown any in the previous two weeks or gained any weight the doctor decided that baby is pretty much at her max. She also did an internal exam which revealed pretty much what I thought it was going to... no dilation and no effacement. But it also revealed that my cervix is posterior, which means it's facing my back and the baby is facing my front. That is the one good thing, the baby is down and engaged in my pelvis, but since my cervix is facing the wrong direction her head is not pushing on anything to say "hey, it's go time, I want out of here!" The doctor tried to "manipulate" my cervix, sounds really painful but it did not bother me, but I don't think she was successful.

So, at the moment the plan is this, next Tuesday night I will be admitted to the hospital and have cervidil inserted. Wednesday morning the cervidil will be removed and I'll be allowed to shower etc. Depending on what, if anything, the cervidil did I will then be started on pitocin and will hopefully help with dilation and labor and lead to a vaginal delivery. However, if my family history has anything to do with it, I need to prepare myself for a c-section.

This is really hard for me. I have had such and amazingly easy and fantastic pregnancy that I was really hoping it would continue all the way to the end. I really want to see what my body is capable of and experience what it's essentially built for. I really, really wanted to avoid as many drugs as possible. But now I know if I go in Tuesday night statistics show that I am like 80% (totally making that number up, but I know it's high) more likely to get an epidural, so that is on top of the cervidil and pitocin. That is a lot of drug interaction! But I know there are huge risks in letting the baby stay in me much longer past next Wednesday and ultimately it is not about what I want and what it good for me but what is good for the baby.

I am trying my best to stay positive about it all, and at least I have these few days to come to terms with what might (or might not!) happen. This is one of the reasons I did not type up a birth plan, if I have a list I STICK TO THE LIST. And I knew that was not realistic in this situation. For me, not having a plan is better, that way I wont be stressed out when/if things do not follow the plan. My husband and my doctor both know how I feel and what I want and I believe they will advocate for me if I am unable to.

For now, I am just hoping and praying that mother nature and my body will kick in before next Tuesday and get things going naturally. I am trying to walk and be up on my feet as much as I can but it is hard. It's so stinking cold outside it makes it almost impossible to walk outside. There are only so many times you can walk around Target before you start looking like you work there. Add that to how tired I am when I get home, some nights I just sit on the couch until 8:30 when I go to bed!

Sigh, I did not mean for this to get this long, guess I had a bit more to say about it all than I thought. So, if you made it this far please send good thoughts and prayers my way!